It's not like it is in the movies

So, here’s the thing. We all want that perfect relationship. We all want skipping in a meadow, into a field of unbelievable bliss. But it’s never like that.

No one stands outside your window with beat box playing romantic music.

No one stands in the rain outside your house.  

It’s not like it is in the movies.

I may sound like a bit of a relationship Grinch. But isn’t it better to face reality?

Yeah… that’s what I thought.

Relationships are work. Work you really love. Or love to hate.

There is a show that I watch religiously. It’s probably familiar to you. It’s called Grey’s Anatomy.
Meredith and Derek’s relationship (the main couple) is perfect. Perfect in the sense they have had the ups and downs, they have loved each other, and hated each other and despite all that they love each other, through a plane crash, her trying to drown herself, and eventually, spoiler alert, Derek dies, and leaves Meredith.

But her words, “pick me, choose me, love me” resonate with me.

She built him a house of candles.

It’s the kind of relationship that gives us over the top ideas about what our relationship should be.

I think we want to live in that fantasy world; we want to be a part of something that makes us feel special and alive, but that’s so far from reality, we can only see it happen from the outside of a screen. .

You fight, and things get complicated, and messy. Like you had a kid that coloured your wall with non-erasable marker.  

Some arguments and disagreements bare the weight of 10 tons.

Some arguments are forgivable.

Some are not forgivable.  

We all hope deep down that our relationships will be perfect, that we’ll plan the perfect wedding on our Pinterest website, and we’ll get exactly every detail right.

But sometimes our relationship changes and we aren’t prepared. And we do not feel that it’s fair or even right. Your feelings might be different than your partner’s. Someone told me recently, what’s meant to be will be.

Not everything works out. Not everything is perfect. And even if you think that you have ruined everything, you probably haven’t. You just have to realize that people aren’t perfect and it’s not like it is in the movies.

Andthese days, friends with benefits attitudes rule relationships. Like meaningless sex and one-night stands are the key to all our commitment problems.

A drunken night where two bodies grind against each other in the hopes of attaining some sort of bliss.

Tinder rules the world of millennials, common TV shows now include them for simple humour. Yet we are filled with romantic ideas that are out of this world.

Yes, but that’s better than creepy Pinterest girl right?

Perhaps I’ve spent too much time thinking about it, wanting it; wanting the perfect relationship that only exist in movies.

The little girl inside me who pictured I’d meet the right guy and it would all just fall into place is gone now.

I’ve grown up. I’ve learned.

Relationships are hard work. The kind of work you love. And of course, sometimes hate.

But, let’s get real. You’re not Leonardo DiCaprio and I’m not Kate Winslet. It’s not going to happen that way. And its not like that was a happy ending

And as for how my story ends, we’ll I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

Turning 22~

So, today, I'm 21. Tomorrow I will be 22.

That's right, tomorrow is my birthday. January 21st, 1994 at around 9:40p.m. in the middle of a winter storm was when I was born.

And over this past year a lot of things have certainly changed.

I've learned a lot of things about myself.

I can be mean, I can be horribly mean. To myself and to other people. Which is something I really feel like I need to work on. I need to be more sensitive to other people and be more trustworthy of people and the things they do.
I recently read a journal article by one of my professors. About people who have low agreeableness. People who have low agreeableness are less trustworthy and more suspicious. And feel like sometimes that might be me. And slowly, I feel with a different lifestyle I can be more kind, more trustworthy, and forgiving of those who hurt me in the past.

I have learned I can handle the hard stuff as well as the easy stuff. Over the past year I have acquired two different jobs -- did five classes and now I'm in a seminar. And though life can get messy, the messiness can be the good part.

I have learned I'm great at handling multiple things. But I'm able to do things I didn't think I could do. But that is best part about growing up. You learn about all the things you're capable of.

I've experienced new things.
Hiking
Camping (yes, I've only ever camped once in my life, and it was this past summer).
I'm actually going to try and ski soon. Or snow board, who knows!

I went travelling for the first time in my life. 

Hiking a shoreline in another province

 A sunset 

Hiking a trail at a National Park 

Experiencing new things can be fun, even it requires stepping outside of your comfort zone. 

I've also been challenging myself to be better at taking care of myself. Diabetes is a tricky disease. And I really think that learning how to manage it will help better my life. 

Turning 22 isn't a big deal, I'm still young. Things will continue to change.
And I'm starting to get ready for that. Who knows what 22 might bring? 

My first week back to school

It's back to the grind in 2016, despite a great holiday season, reality always comes to find us.
I'm heading back to work and school, both full-time. I'm attending a university for journalism.
Journalism, a profession based in the question and answer of common people- takes up a lot of my "free" time.
Free is a word open for interpretation.

School and work mean heavy scheduling. Deadlines, due dates, and working schedule, even heavier scheduling. Time management has become my biggest friend over the years I've spent in school.

Time management and making a dollar stretch further then it should. Good life skills to acquire when venturing out on your own.

I've attending 3 out of 4 classes (I cut one because of my intense schedule last semester, lesson learned). But since 3 of them are a continuation from last semester, it shouldn't be too painful.

A seminar has been added to my line-up. Seminar that is required for me to graduate with a major in psychology. Unfortunately, I have to do a victory lap, in order to finish my other two majors but such is life.

I'm prepared to work my ass off this semester.

So, here goes.

Here's a picture of my cat in a box.

A Look At Some Holiday Fun

Winter break is over, unfortunately. And it's back to school and work tomorrow, but what a break I had.
I spent Christmas with my family back home. I got wonderful gifts, and stuffed full with turkey. Overall, three turkey dinners this holiday season. Enough turkey for me for awhile. It's a heavy load and a big meal and it always makes me so tired.

Having turkey and big meals can reek havoc on my diabetes. Especially with dessert, because who doesn't love dessert?

I spent about two weeks with my parents, and grandparents.
I got a coffee maker- with Keriug abilities. It can brew both a pot of coffee and individual cups of coffee. Yay, because coffee is like my blood line.
I'm very excited to buy Cake Boss coffee, its some of the best coffee I've ever had.
I got a tape recorder for school. I do a lot of interviews in journalism. As if you did not know that. So having a tape recorder will be super helpful when writing different pieces.

We spent most of our days relaxing at home in front our tree. Which my Mom did a beautiful job decorating.

It was a lovely Christmas. I got some socks, which is a huge thing as an adult struggling to keep socks. I got some nice clothes and pyjamas, it was lovely.

On New Years Eve, I decided I wanted to go see my significant other. And thus began another journey, the journey of travelling somewhere by myself. And yes, I'm 21 years old and I have never travelled anywhere by myself.

Instead of spending a bunch of hours driving back and forth and spending money on gas. I bought a bus ticket. And on the 31st, I boarded a bus to Nova Scotia. And it was 7 hour and 20 minute ride. With over 7 stops.
I dreaded the idea. Perhaps missing my transfers or getting on the wrong bus in the first place. But, I boarded at 11:00 and began my journey.
Interestingly enough, the ride from my home city to the next I met a woman who had been on the bus for nearing 30 hours. She was going from Toronto to PEI, that's a long journey with a lot of stops. We didn't talk a lot but she was experienced bus rider and told me that I had nothing to worry about, we'd be boarding the bus together. And she did. I hope she made it there safely.
I sat with another women on the way to Amherst, Nova Scotia. She also lives in my home city. A vibrant women. She allowed me the courtesy of the window seat. Thank you so much, surprisingly, window seats are much more comfortable for travelling long distances. But, I will tell you, my butt was numb.
She was heading to see family for the New Year. And we joked and laugh the whole way to her transfer. We talked about life, my health issues, her life, her parents and grandparents. It made the bus ride seem to go so much faster. I was very happy after the four-ish hours I had spent travelling.

Yes, that's me, on a bus, a very large bus. Being happy about travelling.

It was a slow ride to Halifax though, no one to talk to and I was getting sleepy. I would suggest bus riding as a solution to insomnia. Because it made me sleep very well very quickly. Lullaby bus.
I arrived at my destination at about 6:20, and there was the love of my life waiting for me.
We went to his families to celebrate the New Year, but not before we exchanged gifts. He broke our fifty dollar limit rule, but hey, it was one of the nicest gifts I've ever gotten.

I opened the box to see a Michael Kors watch. And I got him a inscribed whiskey glass. A little lack luster on my part, haha.

It's beautiful and I will wear every day. Except when I'm at work, but my work is gross.
We spent the next following nights enjoying the company of family and of course we had a date night. He took me to an all you can eat sushi place. It was delicious.

I really recommend trying sushi if you already haven't. Do it!

Overall, I had a great holiday filled with lots of great company, great food, and a good time. And that's what matters. I expect this next year to be a lot more fun as I turn forward to a different chapter of my life. A lot of changes are coming and they are scary but like usual we move forward despite adversity.

Good luck readers in your adventures, and I wish you well in the New Year.
Happy 2016!

The Basement Files

Credit to St. Thomas Journalism and Pat Richard

Hosts: Cody Peters and Nathalie Sturgeon

Radio Work - Warning: Trigger

WARNING: before you move forward with this should you have any nervousness about rape, or the topic please refrain from listening to the documentary. 

I've done some radio work this year. Deep, intense topics. But some I think are worthy of your ear.


Rape culture and how we move on:
https://soundcloud.com/nathalie-sturgeon/sturgeon-rapedoc


Commentary on my life as a diabetic:
https://soundcloud.com/nathalie-sturgeon/commentary-diabetes-sturgeon

Theatre St. Thomas gears up for the future

by Nathalie Sturgeon

The lights go down, the music builds and the crowd leans forward. The first face with a pale white face, and bright red cheeks appear. Nothing can be heard but the sound of the voice as they begin their dialogue. It is a flagship extracurricular club that has 45 years of experience under its belt. The club has under gone some major changes in the past two years but they aren’t slowing down.

Trudeau and the FLQ was the most recent Theatre St. Thomas performance. It had 68 parts played by 16 actors, and included more than 600 cues.  All five viewings of show were sold out.. But what is the future for this after-school club?

Robin Whittaker, the Theatre St. Thomas artistic producer, said he has high hopes for the club going forward.  

“It’s definitely batting above it’s weight class, for sure, among Canadian university campus clubs,” he said.

Whittaker says they aim for variety, and variety is what they have produced. Since joining the club, Whittaker has directed Carnation Voyage, William Shakespeare, Taming of the Shrew, - this year - Trudeau and the FLQ.

Theatre St. Thomas is more then just a club. Despite the changes the club retains that sentimental value that many students past and present hold dear.

This club wasn’t always a beacon of hope and prosperity though.

Ilkay Silk was the faculty advisor for Theatre St. Thomas for 36 years. Almost two years ago, her position was eliminated, and as a result the club’s future became unclear.

The club became unsure of what might happen with the removal of the permanent positions.

Silk had told the university she would retire that year, but the decision not to replace her was upsetting.

“I’m perplexed. Of course I’m upset. That goes without saying, Silk told The Aquinian in 2014. “But the emotions are very layered. One is perplexed. Deeply, deeply not understanding the decision. So deeply. I don’t get it.”

The change came about due to budget changes that happened at university.

Tuition hikes and cut backs were put into place in order to clear the deficit that the university faced.

A petition circulated among the students to have the position renewed but at the end of the 2013-14, year the position was still cut.

Despite the removal of Silk’s position the club aims to work together with the St. Thomas community in their future projects.

This year’s Theatre St. Thomas president echoed Whittaker’s sentiments. Sharisse Lebrun, a fourth-year St. Thomas University said the club works well with the drama department.

“It’s really important to have here at STU, and it compliments the drama concentration and allows students to apply what they learn in the classroom,” she said.

Both Whittaker and LeBrun said that TST also allows them to be creative in the ways they explore different topics.

LeBrun said even though she isn’t in the drama concentration, the club allows her to get that experience that she can’t get through her degree.

“It not only compliments the drama education at STU, but all the education at STU,” she said.

But the club isn’t just able to feature their community and current events that happen around the world. It also provides a sense of family.

A St. Thomas graduate who was a member of Theatre St. Thomas since her first year, Kelsey Colford knows exactly what this family means to each member of the club.

“In my first year I was terribly homesick and didn’t really feel like I had found my community at St. Thomas,” she said. I decided to audition for Oh! What a Lovely War. I didn’t get in.

Despite that the club felt like a home away from home for Colford.

“They give me a place to go where I forgot my homesickness. It gave me mentors and friends who encouraged me to better myself. It gave me a purpose even on the difficult days. Those people were relying on me to show up and be a part of something,” she said.

“They were more than a cast and crew, they became friends and a chosen family.”

I sent an email to Ilkay [Silk, the club’s former faculty advisor] asking if there was any way I could assist the production. She welcomed me with open arms and introduced me to my second family,” said Colford.

***

It seemed like the loss of position and Silk would hurt Theatre St. Thomas in a big way until a solution could be reached. But thanks to past, present and future contributors the club remains as strong as it ever was.  

Even though LeBrun said, she wasn’t involved in the club her first year because of another program, she said friends who we’re involved before the changes are happy with the trajectory of the club.

“TST is in good hands, she said. “You guys are doing not only high quality work with talented actors and crew, but it’s work that is challenging and further the students and engaging the community.”

***

Thriving and bringing people together looks like something Theatre St. Thomas members want to see happening in the future.

Whittaker said the club’s future is always changing, and they take no particular direction right away. He said it’s important to keep the club inclusive to everyone.

“We always involve first, second, third and fourth0years… TST is really open to everyone,” said Whittaker.

Kelsey Colford said she knows these changes were necessary but hope that club remains as it always has been.

“I hope the administration continues to support TST as it currently exists. That TST maintains the caliber of performance going forward and that if it remains open to all the university population,” she said.

Colford said she found her second home in Theatre St. Thomas and says the club will always have a special place in her heart.

The club’s growth is a constant drive for the people who hold TST dear to their hearts, including LeBrun.

“I’m graduating this year, and I’m not worried at all, I’m excited to see the work that comes out of TST,” she said.  

Going forward, Whittaker said he hopes to incorporate more plays that are Canadian and, are relevant not only locally, but globally along with student works.

Whittaker will soon be teaching a script writing class. He said he expects it to be included in Theatre St. Thomas’s future line.

“Definitely incorporating a venue for new writers, and Canadian plays when it makes sense to do them, definitely introducing our audience to new styles as well as new playwrights and new plays, these are the things we hope to do.”

A spotlight of change, success and hope shines through the Black Box at St. Thomas University for all to see.