It's not like it is in the movies

So, here’s the thing. We all want that perfect relationship. We all want skipping in a meadow, into a field of unbelievable bliss. But it’s never like that.

No one stands outside your window with beat box playing romantic music.

No one stands in the rain outside your house.  

It’s not like it is in the movies.

I may sound like a bit of a relationship Grinch. But isn’t it better to face reality?

Yeah… that’s what I thought.

Relationships are work. Work you really love. Or love to hate.

There is a show that I watch religiously. It’s probably familiar to you. It’s called Grey’s Anatomy.
Meredith and Derek’s relationship (the main couple) is perfect. Perfect in the sense they have had the ups and downs, they have loved each other, and hated each other and despite all that they love each other, through a plane crash, her trying to drown herself, and eventually, spoiler alert, Derek dies, and leaves Meredith.

But her words, “pick me, choose me, love me” resonate with me.

She built him a house of candles.

It’s the kind of relationship that gives us over the top ideas about what our relationship should be.

I think we want to live in that fantasy world; we want to be a part of something that makes us feel special and alive, but that’s so far from reality, we can only see it happen from the outside of a screen. .

You fight, and things get complicated, and messy. Like you had a kid that coloured your wall with non-erasable marker.  

Some arguments and disagreements bare the weight of 10 tons.

Some arguments are forgivable.

Some are not forgivable.  

We all hope deep down that our relationships will be perfect, that we’ll plan the perfect wedding on our Pinterest website, and we’ll get exactly every detail right.

But sometimes our relationship changes and we aren’t prepared. And we do not feel that it’s fair or even right. Your feelings might be different than your partner’s. Someone told me recently, what’s meant to be will be.

Not everything works out. Not everything is perfect. And even if you think that you have ruined everything, you probably haven’t. You just have to realize that people aren’t perfect and it’s not like it is in the movies.

Andthese days, friends with benefits attitudes rule relationships. Like meaningless sex and one-night stands are the key to all our commitment problems.

A drunken night where two bodies grind against each other in the hopes of attaining some sort of bliss.

Tinder rules the world of millennials, common TV shows now include them for simple humour. Yet we are filled with romantic ideas that are out of this world.

Yes, but that’s better than creepy Pinterest girl right?

Perhaps I’ve spent too much time thinking about it, wanting it; wanting the perfect relationship that only exist in movies.

The little girl inside me who pictured I’d meet the right guy and it would all just fall into place is gone now.

I’ve grown up. I’ve learned.

Relationships are hard work. The kind of work you love. And of course, sometimes hate.

But, let’s get real. You’re not Leonardo DiCaprio and I’m not Kate Winslet. It’s not going to happen that way. And its not like that was a happy ending

And as for how my story ends, we’ll I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

Let The Chips Fall Where They May

There is an old saying that goes a little like "let the chips fall where they may", that is to say let things happen as they come. People all over are constantly forcing things to happen. Whether it be an advance in their career, and advance in the race, and advance in sex or a relationship. It's always something I suppose.

But why? Recently, I've been a culprit of such a crime. Forcing things in my life to happen way before they are meant to happen. And I have discovered that that is how things in any situation get ruined. People who force things in the work place usually end up miserable because they have made themselves miserable trying to get some where that with the right amount of work might have ended up there anyway.

Is it really worth being miserable over? How about relationships - friendships even. When you make some do something or force them faster then they are ready, they fall apart. Yep, that's right they do, and there isn't anyone reading this right now that doesn't know that fact is just plain...fact. It's something that is part of daily function though. With wants comes the need to have it, so if we can't have it naturally, we force it.

I'm just curious, why? Why is forcing things such a big part of every day life? (Or am I seriously just speaking to a person audience, that person being me.) Why can't we just leave what is good alone? Are we just so self-absorbed we can't see the needs and wants of someone else? That maybe in everyone's rush to force something they passed a stranger that could change their lives. They say don't blink - you'll miss it. The same thing applies to people trying to force things. And in lieu of my own sound advice and experience, don't force it - you'll lose it.

It is safe to say that from day to day things happen. Forced or not. But lets all try each new day to force less things and as I said in the beginning - let the chips fall where they may.

~ N