It's not like it is in the movies

So, here’s the thing. We all want that perfect relationship. We all want skipping in a meadow, into a field of unbelievable bliss. But it’s never like that.

No one stands outside your window with beat box playing romantic music.

No one stands in the rain outside your house.  

It’s not like it is in the movies.

I may sound like a bit of a relationship Grinch. But isn’t it better to face reality?

Yeah… that’s what I thought.

Relationships are work. Work you really love. Or love to hate.

There is a show that I watch religiously. It’s probably familiar to you. It’s called Grey’s Anatomy.
Meredith and Derek’s relationship (the main couple) is perfect. Perfect in the sense they have had the ups and downs, they have loved each other, and hated each other and despite all that they love each other, through a plane crash, her trying to drown herself, and eventually, spoiler alert, Derek dies, and leaves Meredith.

But her words, “pick me, choose me, love me” resonate with me.

She built him a house of candles.

It’s the kind of relationship that gives us over the top ideas about what our relationship should be.

I think we want to live in that fantasy world; we want to be a part of something that makes us feel special and alive, but that’s so far from reality, we can only see it happen from the outside of a screen. .

You fight, and things get complicated, and messy. Like you had a kid that coloured your wall with non-erasable marker.  

Some arguments and disagreements bare the weight of 10 tons.

Some arguments are forgivable.

Some are not forgivable.  

We all hope deep down that our relationships will be perfect, that we’ll plan the perfect wedding on our Pinterest website, and we’ll get exactly every detail right.

But sometimes our relationship changes and we aren’t prepared. And we do not feel that it’s fair or even right. Your feelings might be different than your partner’s. Someone told me recently, what’s meant to be will be.

Not everything works out. Not everything is perfect. And even if you think that you have ruined everything, you probably haven’t. You just have to realize that people aren’t perfect and it’s not like it is in the movies.

Andthese days, friends with benefits attitudes rule relationships. Like meaningless sex and one-night stands are the key to all our commitment problems.

A drunken night where two bodies grind against each other in the hopes of attaining some sort of bliss.

Tinder rules the world of millennials, common TV shows now include them for simple humour. Yet we are filled with romantic ideas that are out of this world.

Yes, but that’s better than creepy Pinterest girl right?

Perhaps I’ve spent too much time thinking about it, wanting it; wanting the perfect relationship that only exist in movies.

The little girl inside me who pictured I’d meet the right guy and it would all just fall into place is gone now.

I’ve grown up. I’ve learned.

Relationships are hard work. The kind of work you love. And of course, sometimes hate.

But, let’s get real. You’re not Leonardo DiCaprio and I’m not Kate Winslet. It’s not going to happen that way. And its not like that was a happy ending

And as for how my story ends, we’ll I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

Turning 22~

So, today, I'm 21. Tomorrow I will be 22.

That's right, tomorrow is my birthday. January 21st, 1994 at around 9:40p.m. in the middle of a winter storm was when I was born.

And over this past year a lot of things have certainly changed.

I've learned a lot of things about myself.

I can be mean, I can be horribly mean. To myself and to other people. Which is something I really feel like I need to work on. I need to be more sensitive to other people and be more trustworthy of people and the things they do.
I recently read a journal article by one of my professors. About people who have low agreeableness. People who have low agreeableness are less trustworthy and more suspicious. And feel like sometimes that might be me. And slowly, I feel with a different lifestyle I can be more kind, more trustworthy, and forgiving of those who hurt me in the past.

I have learned I can handle the hard stuff as well as the easy stuff. Over the past year I have acquired two different jobs -- did five classes and now I'm in a seminar. And though life can get messy, the messiness can be the good part.

I have learned I'm great at handling multiple things. But I'm able to do things I didn't think I could do. But that is best part about growing up. You learn about all the things you're capable of.

I've experienced new things.
Hiking
Camping (yes, I've only ever camped once in my life, and it was this past summer).
I'm actually going to try and ski soon. Or snow board, who knows!

I went travelling for the first time in my life. 

Hiking a shoreline in another province

 A sunset 

Hiking a trail at a National Park 

Experiencing new things can be fun, even it requires stepping outside of your comfort zone. 

I've also been challenging myself to be better at taking care of myself. Diabetes is a tricky disease. And I really think that learning how to manage it will help better my life. 

Turning 22 isn't a big deal, I'm still young. Things will continue to change.
And I'm starting to get ready for that. Who knows what 22 might bring? 

My first week back to school

It's back to the grind in 2016, despite a great holiday season, reality always comes to find us.
I'm heading back to work and school, both full-time. I'm attending a university for journalism.
Journalism, a profession based in the question and answer of common people- takes up a lot of my "free" time.
Free is a word open for interpretation.

School and work mean heavy scheduling. Deadlines, due dates, and working schedule, even heavier scheduling. Time management has become my biggest friend over the years I've spent in school.

Time management and making a dollar stretch further then it should. Good life skills to acquire when venturing out on your own.

I've attending 3 out of 4 classes (I cut one because of my intense schedule last semester, lesson learned). But since 3 of them are a continuation from last semester, it shouldn't be too painful.

A seminar has been added to my line-up. Seminar that is required for me to graduate with a major in psychology. Unfortunately, I have to do a victory lap, in order to finish my other two majors but such is life.

I'm prepared to work my ass off this semester.

So, here goes.

Here's a picture of my cat in a box.

A Look At Some Holiday Fun

Winter break is over, unfortunately. And it's back to school and work tomorrow, but what a break I had.
I spent Christmas with my family back home. I got wonderful gifts, and stuffed full with turkey. Overall, three turkey dinners this holiday season. Enough turkey for me for awhile. It's a heavy load and a big meal and it always makes me so tired.

Having turkey and big meals can reek havoc on my diabetes. Especially with dessert, because who doesn't love dessert?

I spent about two weeks with my parents, and grandparents.
I got a coffee maker- with Keriug abilities. It can brew both a pot of coffee and individual cups of coffee. Yay, because coffee is like my blood line.
I'm very excited to buy Cake Boss coffee, its some of the best coffee I've ever had.
I got a tape recorder for school. I do a lot of interviews in journalism. As if you did not know that. So having a tape recorder will be super helpful when writing different pieces.

We spent most of our days relaxing at home in front our tree. Which my Mom did a beautiful job decorating.

It was a lovely Christmas. I got some socks, which is a huge thing as an adult struggling to keep socks. I got some nice clothes and pyjamas, it was lovely.

On New Years Eve, I decided I wanted to go see my significant other. And thus began another journey, the journey of travelling somewhere by myself. And yes, I'm 21 years old and I have never travelled anywhere by myself.

Instead of spending a bunch of hours driving back and forth and spending money on gas. I bought a bus ticket. And on the 31st, I boarded a bus to Nova Scotia. And it was 7 hour and 20 minute ride. With over 7 stops.
I dreaded the idea. Perhaps missing my transfers or getting on the wrong bus in the first place. But, I boarded at 11:00 and began my journey.
Interestingly enough, the ride from my home city to the next I met a woman who had been on the bus for nearing 30 hours. She was going from Toronto to PEI, that's a long journey with a lot of stops. We didn't talk a lot but she was experienced bus rider and told me that I had nothing to worry about, we'd be boarding the bus together. And she did. I hope she made it there safely.
I sat with another women on the way to Amherst, Nova Scotia. She also lives in my home city. A vibrant women. She allowed me the courtesy of the window seat. Thank you so much, surprisingly, window seats are much more comfortable for travelling long distances. But, I will tell you, my butt was numb.
She was heading to see family for the New Year. And we joked and laugh the whole way to her transfer. We talked about life, my health issues, her life, her parents and grandparents. It made the bus ride seem to go so much faster. I was very happy after the four-ish hours I had spent travelling.

Yes, that's me, on a bus, a very large bus. Being happy about travelling.

It was a slow ride to Halifax though, no one to talk to and I was getting sleepy. I would suggest bus riding as a solution to insomnia. Because it made me sleep very well very quickly. Lullaby bus.
I arrived at my destination at about 6:20, and there was the love of my life waiting for me.
We went to his families to celebrate the New Year, but not before we exchanged gifts. He broke our fifty dollar limit rule, but hey, it was one of the nicest gifts I've ever gotten.

I opened the box to see a Michael Kors watch. And I got him a inscribed whiskey glass. A little lack luster on my part, haha.

It's beautiful and I will wear every day. Except when I'm at work, but my work is gross.
We spent the next following nights enjoying the company of family and of course we had a date night. He took me to an all you can eat sushi place. It was delicious.

I really recommend trying sushi if you already haven't. Do it!

Overall, I had a great holiday filled with lots of great company, great food, and a good time. And that's what matters. I expect this next year to be a lot more fun as I turn forward to a different chapter of my life. A lot of changes are coming and they are scary but like usual we move forward despite adversity.

Good luck readers in your adventures, and I wish you well in the New Year.
Happy 2016!

I'm here

Blogging hasn't actually been my thing lately. For the past year or so I've gone off the blogging grid.

For a number of reasons. School, mainly. Work, too. I've since joined the fast food life and it's treating me, well... like a fast food job.

So many things have happened in the months I've been away from my blog. I will be updating journalism pieces I've written, as well as much more.

I've experience many new things, and I've had to over come some challenges. But, hey, that's life.

Meet Meredith, my newest addition:

She's quite the little monster. But I love her nonetheless, we're hoping to make more additions to our fur family in the future. She's energetic and she likes carpets. Licks herself often, and runs into doors. Deficits yet to be determined. 

I've actually travelled. Yes, shocking, I know. Not far, not as far as some but I've been to places I thought I would never go. 

This summer was a summer to rival all summers. I went to PEI and Nova Scotia. And they were both experiences that have given me a tremendous insight into the things I enjoy doing. 

I spent the weekend in my first hotel stay in P.E.I. and I spent several weekends in Nova Scotia. As my significant others parents live there.
I also went on hiking adventures. Something I have never done before. It's exciting. It's challenging, because I do not have the "shape" I require to do long hikes. Shame on me.
But I did a couple of different trails this summer and a national park where I'm from.

This was a hike in Moosehorn and Laverty Falls. A long hike. 8km, from start to finish. But we got some amazing views.

Photo credit for the second one goes to my significant other. He takes amazing pictures. The scenery is amazing.

I should note that there is someone new in my life and he is amazing! Couldn't have asked for a better person in my life. He makes me very happy, but he doesn't like social media so much. So I'm going to respect his wishes regarding that.

School is going well (there will be journalism posts to follow), but yes, it takes a lot of work to be a journalism student. A lot of time an effort goes into putting together journalism video. A lot of work goes into putting together radio and print.
I've got one more year to my degree and their are a lot of changes coming in the future.

I don't like change. At all. But, here's to the future and all it holds.

10 Songs To Get You through the Day

Each day I like to start my day with some music. And depending on the mood I’m in, the music changes and will change. So, here are some songs that should be on your playlist right now.

1. “FourFiveSeconds” - Rihanna, Kanye West and Paul McCartney

This is a new song from three out-of-this-world talented singer-songwriters. The song has an upbeat tempo that’ll get your booty shaking. There is a vital combination of rap and upbeat melody. Of course, there is also McCartney’s always flawless guitar playing.

2. “Masterpiece” – Jessie J

This is the ultimate self-confidence song. I love it! It’s like, probably one of my favourite songs of all time. And, it has a great beat to keep you listening to the end. You’re all masterpieces, ladies!

3. “Chains” – Nick Jonas

So, I just recently came across this song. I had been listening to “Jealous” which is also a good song, but will not appear on this list, but I felt instantly connected to this one. It’s a deep song - and even if you don’t like the song, Nick Jonas is beautiful to look at.

4. “Style” – Taylor Swift 

A playlist would not be complete without Taylor Swift in there. This song is perfect. Even without the James Dean reference you kind of have to love this song. It’s slow but its tempo is the perfect morning song when you brew your morning coffee.

5. “Shake It Off” – Taylor Swift 

Yes, another Tay Swift song. But, this one is a good motivator. Shake off the negative emotions, shake off the haters, shake everything off and start the day.

6. “Make It To Me” – Sam Smith 

This song is soft and slow. As most of Smith’s songs are, but the strong positive vibe about love in this song could make anyone happy. He’s confident there is someone out there for him. You just have to “keep your head down, and make it to him.”

7. "Uptown Funk" – Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars 

Of course this is on my list. What a great song. It’s so catchy and it's got such a funky vibe. Don’t believe me, just watch!

8. “Shut Up and Dance” – Walk the Moon

What a great dancing song. As Meredith Grey would say, it’s time for a 30-second dance party, right? 30 seconds: go.

9. “Sugar” – Maroon 5 

Maroon 5 is, like… everything. They are like my favorite band. So of course they are on my playlist. This song is terribly cute, and “punny.” So, why not? It’s a fast-tempo song which makes it great anytime of the day.

10. “Love Me Like You Do” – Ellie Goulding

Last, but certainly not least, is "Love Me Like You Do." It’s from the ever-popular Fifty Shades of Grey movie. This song is on the top of the charts, for obvious reasons. Ellie is a beautiful singer and she adds a great quality to the song. It's an overall great song!

Sometimes we just need a little music to change our day. Rock on, dudes!

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Review!

Shows like Parks and Recreation, The Office, 30 Rock, and Arrested Development are comedy gold. These will no doubt go down as brilliance beyond their time.

But, have you heard of the new show Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? It’s a Netflix original series, and my recommendation this week.

From producers Tina Fey and Robert Carlock, comes a show starring Ellie Kemper, Jane Krakowski and Tituss Burgess.

Kemper plays Kimmy Schmidt, who is rescued from a doomsday cult and ends up trying to start a new life in New York. Kimmy becomes a New York nanny for Jane Krakowski, whom you might know from 30 Rock, and learns how to live as a free woman in the 21st century.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt really deserves the hype it's getting. Fey and Carlock have created a comedic masterpiece.

Kimmy has to learn to live on her own. What makes this show so great is Kimmy’s newfound sense of independence. This woman has been locked in a bunker for 15 years and she manages to get a job, do math, learn how to be social again and go on a date, and even use a “Macintosh."

Kimmy is awkward, she makes old references from before she was in the bunker. Insert MC Hammer joke here.

References to old music, an appearance from The Babysitter's Club series, and light-up sneakers make this show gold.

But, we learn other things from Kimmy. We learn that we can overcome circumstances beyond our control.

She teaches us that we do not have to be dragged down by the things that have happened to us in the past. We're as strong as we choose to be.

She teaches us that being weird is not a bad thing. We must embrace who we are.

And most importantly, she teaches us that life changes very quickly. One minute you can be in an under grown cult bunker, the next a nanny to a New York socialite. Life is unpredictable as hell. But, “women are strong as hell."

I give Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt five out of five stars. I already cannot wait for the next season!

And of course, there is Titus.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt © Universal Television

10 reasons why Olivia Benson should be every girls role model

If you're not watching Law and Order: SVU you should make the point to do so!

The lead role of Sgt. Olivia Benson is played by Mariska Hargitay. SVU has been on the air for sixteen years and just announced a seventeenth season. I have watched Hargitay since season one, and though the content of this show may be harsh at times, it’s definitely real.

Olivia Benson is totally a strong female character that every girl should look up to. Let's just say, there's a reason Taylor Swift named her cat after her!

1. She is kind to everyone

One of the things I can say about Olivia is she's kind. I’ve seen her even be kind the people she is meant to put away. It takes a special type of person to be kind to everyone despite his or her faults.

2. She helps the victims

A lot of our culture is centered on blaming someone. Olivia pushes the boundaries, and fights each episode for the rights of the women and men she meets. We are always looking for reasons why things happen, but Olivia does a great job of putting aside the unnecessary and focusing on what's important - the victims.

Her victims are the most important people. She is a natural listener. And in a world of people with opinions, and some always having something to say. It's a great quality to have.

3. She doesn’t take crap from anyone 

One of Olivia’s most prominent characteristics is her attitude. She is a woman in a male-dominated field - she broke the gender bias! She doesn’t take the bullsh*t that the other characters throw at her. Instead, she shows them she is just as strong and establishes herself as a presence. Every girl should be confident in that way.

4. She is proud of who see is, naturally

Even when she's covered in blood, she manages to be flawless! Yes, I realize how awful that sounds but the statement cannot help but be true. Around here, we're used seeing cops in complete uniforms. That's not the case, at least not in most Law and Order shows. She pulls off "Sergeant" extremely well. She doesn't feel the need to conform to what society might think is pretty. She is just one cop trying to save the world.

5. She is loyal

Loyalty is a hard thing to come by these days. It’s a rare quality and those who posess it are special. She was a partner to Detective Stabler until he retired from the SVU squad. She stood by him, regardless of his sometimes erratic behaviour. Some fans even speculate she loved him. But, who wouldn’t? Have you seen Detective Stabler?

6. She's amazing with children [Spoiler Alert!]

Olivia doesn't just deal with adult victims, but children as well. Despite all the stress in her job, one thing you can tell about Olivia is that she loves kids. She puts aside her own childhood issues and aims to help those little kids. Recently, Olivia met a little orphan boy named Noah. Now, he's her own son!

7. She's dedicated

Olivia Benson is one dedicated person. She will do anything to help someone, even if that means putting herself in danger. And sometimes, that isn’t always a good thing (I'm not recommending you do that). But it does show how far she is willing to go to help her victims. There are several episodes where Olivia is ordered to go home and rest by her commanding officer. Why? Because she is freaking dedicated!

8. We aren’t invincible, and neither is she

Olivia has been through some tough stuff on SVU. She is a child of rape. Her mother was an alcoholic, and she has been victimized more then once on the show. Still, she manages to work through her troubles. She has showed that we are all affected. We can all feel sad and helpless at times. But, we must fight back. One of the most classic examples is her fear after being held captive for four days, of returning to her squad room and being treated differently. We all feel that way sometimes. Fear of being seen a certain way, right?

9. Mariska has been married to Peter Hermann for 11 years!

Though Olivia has been unable to capture this sort of lasting love, the actress herself has it down to perfection. These days having a lasting relationship in the celebrity spotlight is hard. Mariska makes the best of that by staying true to herself, her husband and her three children. She is a working woman who manages to keep her home life stable, and her fans impressed. What makes this even more awesome is that Peter Hermann and Mariska Hargitay met on the set of SVU!

10. Mariska's Joyful Heart Foundation

Inspired by the work she does on SVU, Mariska has an foundation called The Joyful Heart Foundation. The mission of this foundation is to educate, heal and support sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse victims. What a woman!

So, to recap: kindness, strength, selflessness, and love. This is why Olivia Benson - and Mariska Hargitay - should be every girl’s role model!

Law & Order: SVU © NBCUniversal

How to treat a girl on her birthday

Recently, it was my 21st birthday. So I comprised a list of things to do on a girls birthday.

Birthdays are many people’s favourite time of year. I mean, you get a whole day to celebrate your life up until this point. For me, and I am sure many others, it's hit and miss. There are things you want to happen and other things you just do not.

1. Do not remind the woman of her age

Yes, we know how old we are. We have been counting and stressing over crow's feet since we learned what they were. So please, don’t yell across the table at the party and say, “Oh my god, I can’t believe you're 21,” because frankly, neither can we.

2. We want cake 

Don’t assume because we have some food regiments we like to follow, does not mean we don’t have an appetite. We LOVE cake (and cupcakes and anything else that's sweet). Women are just as moved by cake as flowers (or at least I am). Cake is the way to my soul, especially on my birthday.

3. Bring presents, or don’t

We love to receive gifts, but what we appreciate more is your company. We love to be surrounded by friends and we love to hear a funny story about how crazy we are when we're drunk.

4. Please don’t use the “I was going to buy you a present but…” (directly related to 3)

We are college students. We're on budgets. We're poor. Don’t give excuses, because chances are I’ve either made them myself (not realizing how awful they are), or I understand your level of poor.  Seriously we get it, hug us and enjoy the party!

5. Stick together

On birthdays, it's common to go out drinking. Do not leave. You never realize how drunk you are until you're looking for your friends, the room is spinning and you have to pee. You should try to stick as close to your friends as possible. This is a general drinking rule. To make the most of everyone's night, the time you spend together will be the best. Then tomorrow you can make fun of each other as much as you want, because why not?

6. Don't make a big deal

This one follows the age rule. Yes, we want to have a good time on our birthday, but we also do not want you to make a spectacle. We are coping with some sort of change here. Make the birthday gal feel comfortable, and most of all make sure she's having fun. Whatever level of spectacle she might enjoy, it’s better to check first.

7. If you have never spoken to me in person, do not wish me happy birthday on Facebook. 

Chances are if you don’t recognize my name under your birthday notifications., then 1) You probably shouldn't have me on Facebook, and 2) Do not make a fake “Oh my God, happy birthday, wish we hung out more,” post.

8. Do not reveal huge secrets on birthdays (not bad ones anyway)

It should be a general rule not to reveal anything life-altering on a birthday. Some secrets are worse then others. but I assure you, most of the time aging is horrifying enough.

9. Don’t make silly birthday jokes

Singing “You look like a monkey, and you act like one too,” will probably earn you a, “Haha. Get out.” Don’t make silly jokes. We are all mature here. Or at least, some of us are. We are all up for some random humor, but birthday jokes are kind of annoying.

10. Most of all, enjoy your day!

Yes, you are a year older, but think about this way, you are much wiser. Or at least, believe you are. Birthdays are meant to be fun, so go ahead. Have fun, collegiettes!