I Sometimes Say Funny Things...

Since nothing of unusual nature has been happening in my life I've stayed away from posting about my great honey badger lifestyle. But no longer! Actually this is just update that I'm alive and doing okay kind of shitty.

The employment industry is as dry as ever! But I think that feeling is felt pretty much everywhere, am I right folks? #firstworldproblems. 

Even though I say nothing interesting in my life is happening. I am getting fit! Woohoo. 

Inspired personally by my great blog crush Georgia I have made some vast accomplishments thus far. Her story - is very inspirational.

In my life I sometimes say funny things...

Only times, I like to keep my humor under raps so people are more entertained by it when I am. It is also a wonderful feeling to make someone laugh!

I've changed my hair color, yet again...

There is a huge difference from lovely redhead status, I'm not entirely feeling this color yet. Hm, what do you guys think?

I've also been trying to shed the pounds as all the cool people say.

Progress, slowly but surely, is being MADE - notice my enthusiasm!

Good, eh? My pride is shooting into the stars. Though, most days I feel like the fat rolls that develop that I haven't managed to eliminate really are the universe saying STOP EAT A BROWNIE. But, I won't.

I've noticed much change in my arms. Wow-za!

So huge man! Hard work, time and dedication, pay out in the end.

It's all about attitude!

Hey look it's me No, just kidding, but heed the message!

~ N 

Choices.

Over the few past days sitting by myself, I've been thinking - holy shit there is an idea...

It came across my mind about choices. Again.

It appears I make a lot of those whether they are well informed or not. Like when I order a burger I've never tried that I've paid 20$ for and I realized I hated it. Those choices are completely irrelevant as you can wash it down with soda pop you paid an extra four dollars for. But, it, is much more worth it.

I guess that making choices whether they be wrong or right are in fact part of growing up. (There is a clear and distinct difference here between learning from them or repeating them, clearly one is worse then the other). All this choices non-sense comes around when you sit alone for hours with no one to talk to except your dog, who, occasionally farts to allow you the sense he is listening but doesn't really give a shit - that's punny. And what would he know about choices, he eats everything. Well, except ketchup chips.

But how do we know if we've made the right ones? Is it long after we've made them when some reminds you of your past. Or should you know instantly the minute it happens? Or do you know the minute the words fly out of your mouth like word vomit, or the minute your brain decides to chose between one thing or the other, that it is wrong. But if that is the case, do you still make the choice? Or is there no option? Is the choice to do something completely inevitable. And what are you doing exactly? Who is effected? When you choose to leave someone, or choose to buy that other dress instead of the one you originally wanted, or change your mind about the course selection at your university, or rather second guess the university you're attending? What then is the 'right' choice? Is there even one?

I don't know the answers to these questions or I would tell you. When you think about things in the larger scale, what is the right choice? What is the right answer? Who is that person that just stared awkwardly at me, do they know me? Lets avoid eye contact and hope not. Then again, are choices emotionally triggered or biologically? Is one more powerful then the other? Which says no when you're about to make the wrong choice, or does either one speak up? Who knows, right?

So, is it really a wrong choice if you don't know what the mechanical working of a choice. Or is it just cut and dry, is it just a choice? You make it and that's the end. You can't substitute or go back, or find out whether in fact you were wrong or right. It's scary to think partially that things we do or the choices we may have made or make in the future may completely be out of our control. Rather, maybe they have simply been a subconscious desire we have yet to unmask and we are aware from the very start what choices we've made.

Choices...

~ N 

Weird...and Philosophical

Sometimes life is like a tricky poker game. Who is bluffing? Who is sweating it out? Who is cool and smooth because they in fact hold all the cards? You never really know.

But, think about the card dealer for a second. He is the person who deals these hands. In reality we cannot blame him for the cards dealt or laid out to us. But, isn't it just exactly that?

A game? A game.

Is there a strategy to this game, or are we all just walking through it hoping that the cards we have will let us win out in the end?

I have not in anyway intended this blog to be a weird, overly advice filled blog. But since this blog is in entitled "A Day In The Life Of Nathalie" I feel like the things that cross my mind are as valuable as the things I eat or where I go.

These things have recently crossed my mind more frequently. I have held major losses, and had major gains. (much more of one, and less of the other, but the is irrelevant here). Sometimes I just question if we really have control over these things. Do our choices actually effect the path we choose, or are we just, simply pawns in game, from some higher power?

I have come across people all of my life who don't believe in the idea of destiny or fate. Are either of them real?

I blame my exposure to philosophy for these questions. Reading things like Aristotle, Descartes, and Kant has warped my mind into believe that everything I do really needs to be put into question.

Blame. Philosophy.

But anyway, we'll leave that question to ponder in your mind. And maybe the next time someone walks into your life, or you make a choice about something, even the small stuff. You'll think about this post, and wonder, how can this change my "path"? Will it give me advantage in the game? Or does any of it even exist?

~ N 

To The Wolves?

Good afternoon,

My days have been oh so consumed with catching up on assignment after assignment. Hey, thanks pneumonia, you're a real gem.

I spend my evenings catching up on much needed sleep and watching Sarah Jessica Parker have all the dresses I wish I had.

A question came to mind of my weeks of illness.

I had a professor who upon finding out the inter workings of my life and then my illness had been so upstanding and generous to me, gave me an extension on my assignment and refused me in class because she said I needed to be home in bed...strange. Since early high school teachers told us university professor would barely know our names let alone feel any compassion towards us. On the contrary, high school teachers. You were wrong!

...Well for the most part.

St. Thomas is a small university - 2000 or all little over population. Which makes pretty easy for classes to be personalized and for the professor to call on you and use your name. In my Aquinas class, the class consist of 25 people, hard not to get to know one another. When my aunt passed away, my professor were attentive to my behavior and assured me that if I needed to take time to take it. One of them after offering sympathies had a long heart to hear with me about things going on in my life. I needed that conversation!

However; in first semester, I had a introduction psychology professor, young, seemingly attractive (and he knew it) and he only knew the names of those students who spoke out, asked questions, or seemed highly intelligent. Preferential treatment maybe? I guess that is also part of the "small university" environment. That class was a class of about 60 students. The same thing is occurring this semester in a similar class. Except she is female, probably has a son the same age as the other professor and she dress atypical professor.

So, is university just really someone throwing you to the wolves. Or is it throwing you into a den of cute adorable puppies with one wolf that might devour you and the puppies given the chance?

What a poor analogy, I'm sorry, I'll try harder next time!

~ N