Crossing my fingers on this one

Pre-warning this post will not have very many pictures! It'll have none. I just want to tell you how things are going.

It would appear the sun is shining in my corner of the boxing ring. So basically without all the stupid vagueness my life has turned around for the better.

It happened in a few processes really over a four month span. It started rocky, which should be no surprise consider the events of my year. I had no job, I had no social life, I rarely left my house, and I was very depressed. All those things leading to the last.

Then after a set of very revealing conversations, I discovered this weren't actually what they appeared to be. Now, that store is much more then I would care to share. Since then, it's been up!

I have reconnected with someone very special to my future, and it would seem that despite the road we took was filled with a lot of huge holes, we are managing to do things right and both of us are happy. You might see this person on my blog in the future, so keep an eye out!

I am moving back to my favourite city, and school soon. Like in the next day or so. Though finances are a bit rocky, I now have faith that stuff like that will work out. And hopefully in time to pay the bills. (crossing my fingers on this one)

I guess a few things I've learned this whole month is
1. Things aren't always what they seem. 
2. People will lie to you, so remember who you SHOULD trust. 
3. Love rekindles, even when you think you don't deserve it
4. Life will turn around, no matter what curve balls it wants to throw at you. 

Has anything turned around for you lately?

~ N 

LETS OVERCOME BPD TOGETHER!

Mental health is a huge issue these days. It is linked to many of the tragic events that happen all over the world. And, as I sit here listening to my favorite Sugarland song; awaiting the season finale of Grey's Anatomy, and I am plagued. I'm not alone in this though, that I know.


Sickness whether physical or mental is a disaster. It takes a lot out of a person each day. And most times you find yourself much more capable of handing situations you never thought you could handle.

I have boarder-line personality disorder. Defined clinically as: (BPD) is a mental health disorder that generates significant emotional instability. This can lead to a variety of other stressful mental and behavioral problems.

Each day I wake up is a struggle. And, people with BPD have the largest rates of suicide. And though sometimes I struggle to even get out of bed in the morning, there is one key element all people with mental disorders or issues should know: you have a right to be happy. 

Sometimes, when we hear that statement, or even someone say "you should be happy" you want to upper cut them in the face. A tad violent, but true. Often times people are confuse mental disorder with "attention seeking", "selfishness", "arrogance".  When often times that person is desperately looking for you to help them. 

Dealing with things such as BPD can be hard as hell. And the road is rocky, but I believe that one day, the sun will shine and BPD will be something I, and many people like me, can conquer.

Here is how I am trying to conquer my BPD -

I stick to a routine. (bed time is usually the hardest, who wants to go to bed early?)

- wake up, get something fresh to eat, starting your day off right!
- exercise (usually putting this into a schedule is often helpful)
- talk to someone! 
- find a hobby (things such as art, sports, music, etc can keep your mind for the most part distracted, my most recent affliction is baking.)
- avoid aversion behavior: for example, I smoke. Aversion behavior is a bad habit that you co-depend upon to curb the urges you have to self-harm among other things. 
- Surround yourself with positive things/people, and in turn you will be positive.  

It might be hard to sit here and read about me going on about how you "should" behave, because, frankly, I'm a little annoyed myself. But, I believe the best way to solve any problem is awareness and a plan. If you have a good plan and some good knowledge you will be able to sit here and read this post without wanting to physically hit me. 

I wish to only tell you about BPD and how people like me suffer. If this helps anyone at all, good. I know writing all of this down has helped me. 

Lets overcome BPD together!

~ N