Friday, 29 November 2013

Consent causing Confusion ©

Consent causing Confusion
Nathalie Sturgeon ©
                       
Consent is sexy? Try confusing. A video from St. Mary’s university was posted on Instagram, where students chanted “Y is for your sister, O is for oh so tight,  U is for underage, and N is for no consent  G is for grab that ass.” and “Saint Mary’s boys we like em’ young.” Universities in Fredericton have been promoting the idea of consent, the catch phrase is that “consent is sexy.” The problem is, the idea of consent is not well understood.
“Consent is largely misunderstood due to the fact it has not been a part of our conversation until recently,” said Maggie Crain, Fredericton Sexual Assault Center counsellor. Crain says that consent is not a conversation that should happen just before sex but rather a continual respect that follows through the act of intercourse. The centre is launching an education campaign to try to clear up the confusion.
When people in a relationship, or hook up, have different ideas of how the night will go, awkward situations can arise,” said Sam Titus, a St. Thomas University student. “Which I find unfortunate since it can be so simple to just ask, but most people are too uncomfortable to just ask,” said STU student Sam Titus.
“The confusion is probably situational, like if someone is drunk, that’s probably where consent gets confusing,” says STU student Rebecca Bonner.
“Consent is in some situations grey, unclear. It should be black and white, but it’s not,” said UNB student Nicholas Richard.
As the year creeps on, more and more students find themselves in situations that can at best be regrettable and at worst dangerous. “Consent is not a case by case thing, consent is always there always needs to be obtained,” said Crain.
Misconceptions abound in popular media. The husband of Melissa Gorga from the television show Real Housewives said this about what women want: “Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to her hair pulled once in awhile. If your wife says ‘no’ turn her around and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.”
When asked by the host the day-time talk show Bethenny if she ever denies him in bed he says “she fights it, but I always win.”
 “Consent is sexy” is a way to catch students’ eye and start a dialogue. However STU third year student Megan Doucet says “It has not told me much about consent.”
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 “In essence, it needs to be engrained into the mainstream dialogue to the point where it is common knowledge and not confusing,” said Crain. Promoting things like the Dating Basics program, a program that teaches university students about a variety of things concerning consent and sex, have been put in place by a coordinator at UNB. The FSACC is planning on asking students at the three universities in Fredericton to participate in a video about consent. The aim of this video is to clear the smoke surrounding this issue.
Crain suggested that universities should give a mandatory tutorial to all first year students entering into university. 
The FSACC isn’t just targeting university students. A program tailored to female students in grade 8 in Fredericton has been in place for numerous years. As well, grade 10 female students are also given this empowerment program with more tough explicit language. FSACC is now aiming to pilot a male program facilitated in the same way except by a male counsellor.


In some situations students feel the pressure to perform or be ridiculed. The fear of disappointment can sometimes cloud the idea that consent is what really is important. “Of course, men don’t want to disappoint their partner’s by appearing “soft” or non-powerful in the bedroom, and women don’t want to disappoint their partners by not going through whatever activity they want to do, even if they are nervous or uncomfortable,” said Crain. 

Journalism ©

As I end my first semester of second year, there is a second ending I must tell you about and that is the end to my journalism career. I was encourage to put my work online.

One story is currently under revising. But, here goes.


Something Fresh?
            The smell of deli meet fills the noses of any curious grocery shopper. One could only imagine the brightly light, fancy stainless steel deli counter would be a prized selling point. A man stands dressed a khaki coloured uniform his back bent over the counter his eyes focused completely on the machine in front of him. The stainless steel items shine like diamonds under the huge oversized lights above. The man places his hand on the meat slicer in front of him, his hand covered in calluses and cuts, his knuckles white as he slides the blade across the lump of ham. As he slices the meat folds into a pile and customers turn their heads at the smell. The man wipes his forehead with the sleeve of his uniform. A small sigh escapes his chapped lips. A tall man with a pair of green knee-length shorts and a grey shirt approaches the deli department. His hair in an awkward comb over and a deep authoritative voice signals for the deli clerk. The deli clerk leaves his station, looks at the man, and says “something fresh today, sir?” a smile stretches across his tired face

                                                                Washing It Away
            A large grey cloud starts to approach overhead. The trees sway as if dancing to a soft melody. A bright flash covers the sky. Seconds later, a loud boom follows like horses hooves trampling the sky.
            Two young Asian men run out of their apartment building. One wearing striped multi-coloured pants with a brown polo shirt. The other with a black shirt, its sleeves rolled up about quarter length. His were jeans dark wash, almost black with white stitching on the pockets. As they turn to look up at the sky, their eyes light up just as the skies minutes before. One of the boys has a curious look on his face as a crease forms between his thick, un-plucked eyebrows. His friend’s smile stretched across his face, his eyes sparkling with the idea of something so amazing.

            They pull out their next generation smart phones; the next one larger than the first. Sitting next to a large row of cars in the parking lot, they create flashes of their own as they take pictures of themselves in the storm. A fury of constant flashes of lighting and thunder roll as their excitement is washed of their faces in mere seconds as a gush of rain begin to cover everything, including them.

 You Don’t Stand A Chance
            The tall but small featured woman stands hovering over the stove. Her hair bouncing with the light shifts she makes across the kitchen floor. A small creek moans out as she moves. She un-wraps the air tight package of blood red meat, and slaps them onto the frying pan covered in cooking oil, and golden shimmer reflects of the pan onto her face, hunger filling her face. Adding a mixture of finely sliced garlic, tear invoking oozing onions, and spices, she turns on the burner, and a sizzle so faint it could only be heard to someone paying attention. She shuffles her feet across the floor. She pulls out bottles of bright red ketchup, and yellow mustard, and buns of bread. She shifts her mouth, noticing the wetness inside as her taste buds ache. These flat shriveled up pieces of meat stand not chance against her bright white teeth. 

Human Sexuality
A tall Russian woman stands in a room of crowed teenagers. Their ears peeled for the being statements about the topic of Human Sexuality. As if they do not know already. A large grey podium blends in the wall behind it, if not for the professor bent over a stack of papers, would be unrecognizable. Students grow restless awaiting her roll call. Her short curly white hair and ribbons of grey within it bounces up as she starts calling students names. Her accent as thick as cake batter struggles to pronounce the Canadian names. As she comes upon a name there is suddenly a furrow in her brow, she moves her lips as if practicing before saying it aloud. It slips out of her mouth. She smiles, as the student corrections and moves on. The names flow on like a sea of school fish, blending in, turning into muffled words by other students. The energetic professor shoots up and says in a high pitched voice, “Letz talk about the sex!” The room fell silent. 

Rain
            The air feels damp. The doors swing open wide to the sound of raindrops hitting the ground like pin needles. My hands fumble trying to open the umbrella to protect myself from the shower of water. Feeling like an ant under fire, I pursue the path towards home. My feet are sore, and shining with the drops of rain. They are the temperature of death. Waterfalls of rain cascade down the sidewalks. My home is in sight. And, suddenly, I cannot hear the speeding of cars, the raining hit my blood red umbrella, the voices around me, for I know warmth awaits me on the comforts on my vintage flower love seat. 

Jinglers - Outdated 
The place is hidden to the back. The door creeks open as if it had not been greased in years. A woman with wire blonde hair stood with a sea of clothes surrounding her. Her sweater allowed her to blend in among the racks of used clothes. If not for the ribbons of grey hair she would have been missed all together. A young blonde hair dashes from place to place. She is watched by the mid-forties couple browsing at the back. The atmosphere at Jingles is much like the clothes, used and out-dated. 

Class Question Period 

A short, plump woman with fluorescent white hair sits at the end of a row red velvet seats. She rips out her coil note book that has pages torn from it, and the cover bent from shoving it into her backpack. She pulls out a pen that flies apart at her intense grasp. And she waits, with her pink tinted prescription glass, for the professor to begin. As the professors monotone voice begins to explain the varying complications that is the Canadian Constitution, an arm raises from the end of the red line. The professors’ eyes quickly swing away from the white haired lady and he continues to mumble the workings of Section 92 of the Constitution. He barely finishes his sentence, and a cracked voice struggles to put force behind her voice, to no surprise her voice picks up. She directs her question, and has an authority to her voice that commands an answer, not matter how many times she repeats the same question. The professor, lets a sigh, and a brief pause, go before he addresses the woman, she sparks back with another question. The cycle continues for the remaining hour and eighteen minutes. 

Homeward Bound

The air is crisp. The temperature requires the winter attire. Fall recedes into the past, and winter chills us to bone. A tall, brown haired girl bundled up in her parka and homemade knitted hat rounds the corner of Prospect Street. Her nose is as red as the stop light above her head. The headlights of cars make the line go on forever. People bundled up in their heated vehicles, showing no compassion for the girl who resembles Rudolf. Despite the cold, she soldiers on. Homeward bound.  

Final Journal of my career!
The phone in front of me lights up, as it does so often. It’s my best friend. “Wanna come see a waterful?” My eyes widen. “Yep, come get me.” A body sits at the steering wheel, hands covered by black driving gloves. His black and green toque covers his head. The girl beside him, he long blond hair flows from her elastic. Her jacket is a dark green. I bounce into the back seat and head for the most scenic drive to a place I have never been. The wind hits our faces as we leave car. The rocks ahead look step, but a quick glance to each other. And we know. The incline is steep, but welcoming, trees on either side, small tall, some large and burly, some average but lovely, kind of like passing people. In the distance you can hear the swish, and crash of water. The scene creates a flip in my stomach. Looking up the water falls with great power and authority. Only to be frozen in the end by nature. Among the greatest forces of nature; there stand three.

Credit to Nathalie Sturgeon ©
St. Thomas University

Friday, 8 November 2013

It was an experience not soon forgotten.

I honestly don't think I have much to write about. Which defeats the entire purpose of my blog. I've been pretty stressed out lately, but thankfully I wrote my last of 7 midterms in one month. Some more successful then others.

Leonard left today for his long weekend, four days away. And, yes, I'm on of those girlfriends, who gets infinitely sad when her boyfriend leaves. What can I say? I love him. It will be a long four days. Lets hope that I make it through.

I participated in some Halloween festivities. I guess you could say. It was my best friends birthday, and so we went to Ladies Night. It was an experience not soon forgotten.

I went with half a skull face, and pretty doll face.

It took me forever to do.


 The vampire teeth didn't appear in the final costume. It was a joke - it came in my makeup kit. Spooky fun!


We meet some awesome people there. And I made a new friend. Drinks were cheap, and good times were had all around. Even though I was originally skeptical about going out, and drinking, it was worth it. 


I started my first actual shift at work, at 6:45 a.m. It involved me lifting more then 1,000 boxes off the back of an 18-wheeler, unloaded the contents in the boxes, loading it back in, sorting the boxes, unloading them again and censoring them. It was awful.

My boyfriend needed to stop at Wal-Mart before we headed home. I fell asleep in the sporting goods isle. Lovely nap! 

Yesterday, I had the privilege of meeting the most distinguished David Carr. A renowned journalist from the New York times. It was a fantastic opportunity. I was a wee bit excited. 


I wrote this because my day has been pretty tough and writing seems to help a little bit. Hopefully, it is a good read to someone else. 

~ N