I Sometimes Say Funny Things...

Since nothing of unusual nature has been happening in my life I've stayed away from posting about my great honey badger lifestyle. But no longer! Actually this is just update that I'm alive and doing okay kind of shitty.

The employment industry is as dry as ever! But I think that feeling is felt pretty much everywhere, am I right folks? #firstworldproblems. 

Even though I say nothing interesting in my life is happening. I am getting fit! Woohoo. 

Inspired personally by my great blog crush Georgia I have made some vast accomplishments thus far. Her story - is very inspirational.

In my life I sometimes say funny things...

Only times, I like to keep my humor under raps so people are more entertained by it when I am. It is also a wonderful feeling to make someone laugh!

I've changed my hair color, yet again...

There is a huge difference from lovely redhead status, I'm not entirely feeling this color yet. Hm, what do you guys think?

I've also been trying to shed the pounds as all the cool people say.

Progress, slowly but surely, is being MADE - notice my enthusiasm!

Good, eh? My pride is shooting into the stars. Though, most days I feel like the fat rolls that develop that I haven't managed to eliminate really are the universe saying STOP EAT A BROWNIE. But, I won't.

I've noticed much change in my arms. Wow-za!

So huge man! Hard work, time and dedication, pay out in the end.

It's all about attitude!

Hey look it's me No, just kidding, but heed the message!

~ N 

WHY THE HELL AM I NOT SLEEPING, SRSLY?

Can I tell the one thing that sucks about insomnia? IN-FUCKING-SOMNIA.

I have spent that last week not sleeping until the wee hours of the morning, and then sleeping into well into the day. Normal? Not in the least!

The fact that I can sleeping until 1:30  2:30 in the afternoon speaks volumes. Who the lives there lives like this?

I swear I'm going insane. And it's getting worse my by the day.

Rocking my Hello Kitty pajamas I ask you WHY THE HELL AM I NOT ASLEEP? This unrelenting schedule of staying up most of the night and not wake until mid-afternoon is causing me too be far less healthy. My choices are limited to the time I wake up and the energy I don't have because of my lack of sleep.

In lieu I am forced at 1:30, sometimes, 2:30 to make my breakfast and try to start the day then. But my body is not benefiting much for the process since my sleeping patterns are off.

Though my choices remain either organic or natural and seemingly healthy, I'm making them later and to now available schedule. Even though I'm being healthy and exercising, it means nothing if it is not consistent in some form or another. That's reality.

So for tonight, I'll lay comfortable in my Hello Kitty pajamas...

Eyes wide open, and ask myself one very simple unanswerable question...WHY THE HELL AM I NOT SLEEPING, SRSLY?

Are you sleeping?

~ N 

Would You Just Look At It, Flex Flex!

Fitness/being healthy has become a major part of my life. I find in certain ways it provides me something to do on the long days of summer and a sense of reward that comes with no other activity.

For the most part my fitness routine is lacking the element of a gym. So with a set of weights and a trail, I made do with other exercises.

For example:

1. Tap & Pulls
2. Cross Squats
3. Squats + Torso Twist Punches
4. Half Jacks - my favorite
5. Plyo Wall Push Ups/Regular Push Ups.

I often times limit myself to the same exercise, so mix it up!

Usually, I do:

1. 60 sits ups
2. 30-60 push ups
3. 60 squats with 10-15 lb weight above my head
4. 60-70 half jacks
5. 60 squat thrust

In addition to that: I run 30-45 minutes with lunges. I use a off-road trail that has extended steep hills to give me more of a work out. If you don't have such an advantage, stopping and doing one of the above exercise might help increase the intensity.

It is important to remember that pushing yourself is a hard process and you should not at any point push yourself too hard. I'm speaking here technically hypocritically, as I often set my standards too high. If you feel intense pain not usually experienced with exercise, recover for 3-5 days of no exercise! If you pull something it is recommended for longer. Be healthy, the RIGHT way. 

I also believe that in addition to fitness a healthy diet can be equally as useful in prepare you're body for any kind of changes.

I do not have at this time a food schedule for you to follow but I have suggestions.

Instead of coffee: decaffeinated black tea. 
Instead of sugary cereal: natural organic oatmeal

Instead of pop tarts: fresh fruit
Instead of pure white bread: whole wheat bread/12 grain 

Small changes can make a much bigger difference then large changes in a small time frame. Pace yourself and you will be much healthier.

I've learned over the past month of making these changes that you can actually fucking do anything you set your mind too.

Would you just look at it, flex flex!

What are you doing to be more healthy?

~ N 

LETS OVERCOME BPD TOGETHER!

Mental health is a huge issue these days. It is linked to many of the tragic events that happen all over the world. And, as I sit here listening to my favorite Sugarland song; awaiting the season finale of Grey's Anatomy, and I am plagued. I'm not alone in this though, that I know.


Sickness whether physical or mental is a disaster. It takes a lot out of a person each day. And most times you find yourself much more capable of handing situations you never thought you could handle.

I have boarder-line personality disorder. Defined clinically as: (BPD) is a mental health disorder that generates significant emotional instability. This can lead to a variety of other stressful mental and behavioral problems.

Each day I wake up is a struggle. And, people with BPD have the largest rates of suicide. And though sometimes I struggle to even get out of bed in the morning, there is one key element all people with mental disorders or issues should know: you have a right to be happy. 

Sometimes, when we hear that statement, or even someone say "you should be happy" you want to upper cut them in the face. A tad violent, but true. Often times people are confuse mental disorder with "attention seeking", "selfishness", "arrogance".  When often times that person is desperately looking for you to help them. 

Dealing with things such as BPD can be hard as hell. And the road is rocky, but I believe that one day, the sun will shine and BPD will be something I, and many people like me, can conquer.

Here is how I am trying to conquer my BPD -

I stick to a routine. (bed time is usually the hardest, who wants to go to bed early?)

- wake up, get something fresh to eat, starting your day off right!
- exercise (usually putting this into a schedule is often helpful)
- talk to someone! 
- find a hobby (things such as art, sports, music, etc can keep your mind for the most part distracted, my most recent affliction is baking.)
- avoid aversion behavior: for example, I smoke. Aversion behavior is a bad habit that you co-depend upon to curb the urges you have to self-harm among other things. 
- Surround yourself with positive things/people, and in turn you will be positive.  

It might be hard to sit here and read about me going on about how you "should" behave, because, frankly, I'm a little annoyed myself. But, I believe the best way to solve any problem is awareness and a plan. If you have a good plan and some good knowledge you will be able to sit here and read this post without wanting to physically hit me. 

I wish to only tell you about BPD and how people like me suffer. If this helps anyone at all, good. I know writing all of this down has helped me. 

Lets overcome BPD together!

~ N 

HOW ABOUT A CUTE ASS DOG?

I'm stuck between laziness and fitness. I want to get up and run, but Sex and The City season four looks so much better when you want to be more active. Or more healthy. 

In spite of all the boring days ahead of me and subsequently behind me, I think I might have a touch of home sickness for my city  cabin fucking fever. And frankly, it might kill me. 

Due to a lack of a license and a box with wheels, I surf the internet in hopes something entertaining might floats it way into my naturally uneventful thing I call a life. 

On a more positive note, I've been working hard on that old fitness thing I mentioned earlier. 

There is still a lot of work to be done. But, I'm getting there. 

I've made excellent fashion choices as well. I know arrogance is the worst trait in anyone. But I am very proud of my accomplishments - well, fashion wise. 

Well, they speak for themselves. A casual, at home, not doing anything outfit. And an out professional outfit, fit for perhaps a job interview Jesus who am I kidding?

I spend way too much time watching Sex and the City. It's so good, my love for Carrie Bradshaw is unspeakable. 

That's my lady!

And for a final thought, how about a cute ass dog?

~ N 

"GO OUT AND GET YOUR MOTHER SOMETHING NICE, BITCHES"

I have been on a new track. A healthy one!

From changes in dietary habits. To a whole new fitness routine. Life has been pretty busy. Not really, don't listen to me. It is sometimes unwise to listen to me.

Mostly in an effort to make my life slightly better on all fronts from emotional to physical I've changed my lifestyle. Note previous blog posts about change. *

The past several mornings I have consumed plenty of good healthy food. Oatmeal; pre-made, unfortunately, mixed with almond milk; might I add this is the best milk I have ever tasted, and topped with strawberries and blueberries with a side of peanut butter for added protein.

 On top of eating more healthy alternatives, I've turned a fitness routine. Mind you, I don't have a home gym or a regular gym close by. So I have to make due.

In the morning, I do 40 of each exercise, I do this twice a day. The goal is not ultimately weight loss, but the tightening of some unflattering areas. Then each evening just before sun-down, a run. Up and down twice. Work a up a good sweat!

Nothing in this world is completely out of reach if you are willing to put the work in. And, a recommendation, if you plan to exercise and parts of your body hurt more so then they should, stop. In the beginning the parts of your body you begin to exercise will hurt. I've found that a lot of the times people promote pushing your body to your limits. However, if you feel sore in an unusual way, stop. Being healthy is the goal.

As I continue to spend my summer being fit and healthy, and look for a job. Although, I didn't all the way follow my routine today. Shush, I told you to ignore those things. You should look for your own ways to improve your life, whatever your goals may be!

And, tomorrow is Mother's Day...

Go out and get your mother something nice, bitches!

What are you changing this summer?

~ N 

FOOD-PALOOZAAAA

Food. I've been making a lot of it. Which might be slightly and understatement.

I always wanted to make what people call peanut butter pie. I'll post a recipe at some point. 

So, I did it.

It was an overall success. I haven't tried it yet, so perhaps not.

I found a recipe for something more simple for supper. I made macaroni three cheese lasagna. And my goodness it was delicious.

Finally, I've started cooking a series of cupcakes. Most of them are gone now, thanks to some hungry parents of mine. Sweet-toothed people. 

The icing was a little thin. It was my first time making homemade icing, forgive me. But for my first time, they tasted pretty damn good.

That's what I've been up to lately, seems I've been domesticated. It's a new me.

What are you cooking this summer?

~ N 

Nothing NEW

I haven't posted in awhile. Mostly because nothing interesting has happened around here. Summer has it's dry parts; pun intended.

I plan to start baking, and lots of it!

Until then, I plan to be healthy as I possibly can. 

Fresh strawberries and vanilla yogurt. Perfect light snack in between meals. 

Though things here are slow, I'm planning a few more serious posts. Hopefully I'll have something far more interesting to post for you. 

What are you up to over the long days of summer?

~ N 

My Wandering Feet

One of the greatest benefits of living in a urban area is nature. At night we you hear crickets and bullfrogs as you think about clever things to put in your blog post are rather soothing.

In the evening when the temperature isn't too hot; the weather has been crazy warm around here lately. Not that I'm complaining in the least. And there are minimal flies. You can take a walk filled with lovely scenery that is also very comforting to a wander soul.

It's my feet, and a clever way to display my favorite flats. See!

The sunset here is lovely!

In nature you sometimes find that things not meant to be pretty in fact are.

Tomorrow I head back in the world of concrete and people to get some groceries to be healthy!

Where will your wandering feet take you tomorrow?

~ N